Sinful Saint

Yeah I walk around life waitng for death/ I live in constant despair looking to be blessed/ Lies over truth around here always seem to infect/ The more sin I get in life the more saintly I seems less/ Im trapped in same dark place ;looking for a lighter quest I try and live a life full of goodness still trapped in badness I am yet to confess/ I try and hold onto what seems like something but theres nothing really but family left/ I know I am not he best, nor am I like the rest/ I know I can master checkers but still downed in chess/. I got to clean up my act because my life is a mess/ I patiently sit back while I ponder life for death and I wait/ I might as well look for something simple because I never find nothing great/ I struggle to stay under love and over my own hate/ I try and be real with others when to my own self I stay fake/ I feel life obstacles jolt my ambition like a chain that never breaks/ I want less more in life yet as a daily sinner I continue to both physically and mentally take/ I try and change my dark ways but still struggle at the fact that it might be too late/ I usaully catch myself complaining when infact I should be thankful for whats on my plate/ I usually hang onto the past and get scared of the future when I should worry about today/ I going to be that better man for my child because that sinner no longer in my heart I aint/ Sometimes in life we all struggle until we strive, but until then Im trapped between a young lost SINFUL SAINT........