Silly One Liners
If I said you had a beautiful body
Would you hold it against me, sweet lady
What an opening line that would be
Guarantees you a slap, there matey
Why is it so hard for women to find men
That are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they usually already have boyfriends
Specially if they're also good at cooking
The difference between a husband and a dog
The dog still gets excited to see you
Sometimes I have to reintroduce myself
To my wife, “hi, we're married, we two!”
My birth certificate was a letter of apology
Dad got from the condom company
Let my mind wander and it didn't come back
That's no reason to get all uppity
The very worst time to have a heart attack
Is during a game of charades
Gotta hope you're really good at the game
And they call 911 before you fade
Okay here's one last giggle, hope you like it
Finally had to stop drinking because
Got tired of waking up in my car driving 90
Followed close behind by the fuzz
© Jack Ellison 2015
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