Silence of Suicide

Season of death plays her melancholic tune, tragedy portrayed through a chorus of birds. In regret, I ponder why you left so soon, still mourning the impact of your last words. Demons hid some pieces of your jigsaw brain, lost in your black abyss, troubles began to form. Alcohol, drugs and abuse turned your life insane, but your tongue was silent, battling the storm. Sometimes I read the note you left behind, saying you were sorry, but life was not kind. If only I knew a way for time to rewind, maybe I could have eased that troubled mind. Guess you felt death would bring an end to the pain, hope you found peace from a life you left in vane. Silent One 27 October 2020 I lost a very special friend to suicide, on new years eve 1996. It was not my only experience with suicide, but it was one that had a big impact on my life, because, I was the last person she spoke to. Sadly, I did not get to her in time and she had already departed the world that troubled her so much. At the time, she was only 18. For years, I struggled to come to terms with it, my coping mechanism was to blank it all out, suppress the emotions. But every new years eve, I would not do anything, it was my way of rebelling against it, I guess. I lived with regret. Sad thing was I never spoke to anyone about it. I learned to deal with it through writing. My first poem about what happened was in 2015. Some think suicide is selfish, but it is not. It is difficult for those left behind to deal with it, but we need to understand, people who leave the world in such a way, do not want to die, they want to end the pain. Sometimes, no matter what we do or say, it may not help. Always keep an eye out for family and friends, who you may think are feeling low and at times worthless. Many of us, at times, feel we do not belong. Sometimes, the smallest act of reaching out could make a difference. If you are feeling suicidal, there are helplines available in your country. Please call someone to talk to them. It could make a difference. When we feel confused, oppressed, worthless, low, unloved, live a life without affection and understanding... Please remember there is always someone out there who loves and cares about you and will miss you so much if you are gone. Sorry for the sad poem and thank you for reading.