Shut the Damn Door!

(This is a fictional poem) Shut the damn door, it's cold outside! Shut the damn door or I'll tan your hide! I'm getting tired of you letting the cold air in. I took you to the woodshed yesterday and I'll take you there again. You figure that because you're over seven feet tall, you can give me sass. I may be shorter than you but I can still kick your ___. Shut the damn door, it's below zero degrees! Shut it now or I'll put you over my knee!