Shove It

Dear Mr Santa, I’ve been really good
I’ve done all the chores, I was told that I should
I know that it’s June and I shouldn’t be surly
I must send a gift and I must send it early 

So if you could handle this order for me
Delivered discreetly like it’s meant to be
Just sneak in and leave it where I will suggest
And sneak out again, because that would be best

My gift is a gift for the whole of mankind
So sneak the gift in and then leave it ‘behind’
To do me this favour, you’ll need an address
You’ll know where it is as it’s been in the press

              ***

The address that I’ve given, you must be rememberin
you’ll find it in Moscow, they call it the Kremlin
But you’re Santa Claus so you won’t need a pass
So just leave the Semtex in Putin’s fat ass

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022



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Date: 6/30/2022 8:27:00 PM
Ha, ha, ha! It'll be X-mas in July for Mr. Putin. Better than 'Kitty in the Microwave.'
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Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 7/1/2022 12:36:00 PM
We keep hearing that this is a war crime and that is a war crime, but I see no trial ‘in absentia’ to actually declare the cretin in the Kremlin a war criminal. Maybe only Santa can save us. Terry
Date: 6/27/2022 10:50:00 PM
Is there a semtex fund where we can donate? My cheque is ready to send. Greetings from Turkey, location classified lol. Wifi at this hotel is crap. Tom
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Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/29/2022 11:35:00 PM
Just at a restaurant wifi here is excellent, not the Fawlty towers we've checked into. sold our apartment so officially homeless. Heading for Marmaris tomorrow, can't come quick enough.
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 6/29/2022 7:21:00 AM
I’ll bet Turkey’s Wi-Fi is better than mine. Hope you’re having a great time. Terry
Date: 6/25/2022 6:31:00 PM
Perfecto, Terry. My sentiments exactly. Loved your clever rhymes, and the idea was simply "perfecto!"
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Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 6/26/2022 4:37:00 PM
Thanks, Milt. I only wish Turbo Gran had thought of it. ;-) Terry
Date: 6/25/2022 12:49:00 PM
Your rhyme and rhythm are such a delight to read, Terry, and your humor adds so much to your poetry. Perfect ending to this one as well!
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Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 6/25/2022 3:19:00 PM
Thanks, Ilene. I very nearly put *** instead of ass in case Soup vetoed it. But then I realised that Soup would only substitute ass for *** anyway so I might as well risk it. Seems they’ve loosened up a bit. Terry
Date: 6/25/2022 6:45:00 AM
A high powered one will do nicely, shoved wayyy up. LOL Fun write, Terry.
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Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 6/25/2022 3:20:00 PM
Way to go girl… not just any old Semtex, but high powered Semtex. I like your thinking. ;-) Terry
Date: 6/25/2022 6:37:00 AM
Funny Terry…all sweet n lovely then Wham that last verse Ha!! Enjoyed….Debx
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Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 6/25/2022 3:28:00 PM
Sweet and lovely with a sting in the tail. Could she possibly mean me? Ha ha, glad you enjoyed, Deb. Terry
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