Shore Or Sea

I sit here thinking Reading your words A tingle starts to travel From the hairs on my head To the tips of my toes My chest starts to heave My heart start to race My head starts to spin Things twisting inside Like a ocean tide Crashing into me Rolling over me Taking me under Taking me over As I struggle to stay afloat It consumes everything Until I’m gasping for air I try to catch my footing To try to touch bottom To find firm ground Something safe Something familiar To find the shore To be untouched Where only the waves Can just lap at my feet Because I’m scared To be out in the unknown But the water feels so good Just need to learn to swim Open my eyes underneath Let it engulf me Let it toss me Unfamiliar become familiar To never look back Wanting the sand on the shore No need to touch bottom To reassure me it’s there Take comfort in the freeness Of the everchanging tide And to not be afraid To float on my back Trusting the wetness Breathing slow and deep Closing my eyes Hearing the sounds Smelling the salt Feeling it surrounding me Taking it all in No longer wanting to fight After fighting so long After no one ever seeing My SOS scrawled in the sand Looking out over the water Wishing to let go What would it feel like If I were no longer afraid Of what I didn’t know So I sit here reading Feeling this wave What it’s doing to me As I pause briefly To stretch out my arms To start to kick my feet And just learn to swim