She Must Be In Denial

Something happened this morning.
I had absolutely no warning.

There I was trying to live right,
and my belt got tight, 

It was hugging me since times of old.
It shrunk! There wasn’t another hole.

And another mysterious quirk,
a button popped off my shirt.

My wife says it’s a possibility that I’m getting fat.
She isn’t very nice. She insults me like that.

I explained it was obviously because of my manly chest,
She said for me a course in anatomy would be best.

I told her these clothes should all be returned as defective,
She lied and said that would be only MY perspective.

Anyway, she’s been acting a little weird for a while,
She may envy my trim figure and is in denial.

And what’s wrong with that digital bathroom scale?
Electronics! I knew it would one day fail.

Getting fat! I can’t believe that for even one bit!
That just can’t be! My hat and shoes still fit!
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

Poem

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Wesley Avatar
March 3, 2012 at 5:47 PM
Just can't picture you as "fat" You have a nice lean mind that produces great poetry. Are you having a dry spell like me Robert?
Wesley Avatar
October 28, 2011 at 11:19 AM
Oh Robert, the first laugh I've had today. I'm trying to picture that svelte man in my mind being cuddly. Time for cottage cheese my friend. :(
Culverhouse Avatar
September 12, 2011 at 8:10 PM
brings a tear to me eye.....LOL
Devonshire Avatar
September 10, 2011 at 5:38 PM
LOL Got a great laugh knowing how easily we can be in "denial" when we put on weight. I've been dieting, Rob. V-8 Juice and Cheerios will increase your metabolism. I lost 22 pounds. Also, I just responded to you kind email. I appreciate your prayers. Love, Carolyn
Song Avatar
September 8, 2011 at 8:06 PM
Okay, Robert--What do the scales say? They don't lie! ha ha. You really enjoy writing rhymes and your topics are so fun. NOW LISTEN, I have to challenge u to write a poem for the alliteration contest! I know it is an easy format for YOU!! Give it a whirl. This is perhaps ...a lil poetic pressure!! Gwendolen
Neels Avatar
September 7, 2011 at 3:08 PM
Maybe your scale is in denial too?? Gosh I enjoyed this Robert, loads of smiles once again.. Love it!!
Brown Avatar
September 7, 2011 at 2:28 PM
Thank you for sharing today Robert. Love, Carol
Zzzzz Avatar
September 7, 2011 at 8:10 AM
Yes, my shoes and hat still fit too! Most of my clothes seem to have shrunk though, like yours! This is a very entertaining write. Sad truths mixed with humor and told in style. Regards, Robert Haigh.
Kendrick Avatar
September 7, 2011 at 7:14 AM
Good one..I got a chuckle..When one gains weight, their shoes will get tight also..It is like the feet swell..Thanks for stopping by..You kind reviews are appreciated..Sara
Onclaud Avatar
September 7, 2011 at 2:18 AM
lol.. i love the spice of this write, robert.. excuses, excuses i sometimes do too!.:) huggs, nette
The Rogue Rhymer Avatar
September 6, 2011 at 11:56 PM
Too cute Robert! I love it!!! I have blamed the drycleaner for 'shrinking' my clothes a time or two. :)
Falotico Avatar
September 6, 2011 at 6:08 PM
LOL great smiles you have brought yo my rainy Tues, evening my freind.... thank you for that.... Michael
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