She Must Be In Denial
Something happened this morning.
I had absolutely no warning.
There I was trying to live right,
and my belt got tight,
It was hugging me since times of old.
It shrunk! There wasn’t another hole.
And another mysterious quirk,
a button popped off my shirt.
My wife says it’s a possibility that I’m getting fat.
She isn’t very nice. She insults me like that.
I explained it was obviously because of my manly chest,
She said for me a course in anatomy would be best.
I told her these clothes should all be returned as defective,
She lied and said that would be only MY perspective.
Anyway, she’s been acting a little weird for a while,
She may envy my trim figure and is in denial.
And what’s wrong with that digital bathroom scale?
Electronics! I knew it would one day fail.
Getting fat! I can’t believe that for even one bit!
That just can’t be! My hat and shoes still fit!
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