She Got the House
I was sleeping in bed one sunday morn
and I was dreaming of Islands and the trees they adorn
I was on the bow of a sailboat
looking thru a brass scope
checkin out the ladies on the beaches
with skin that looked like peaches
and though it wasn,t a quater to eleven
I thought for sure I must be in heaven
then all of a sudden WACK!!!!
everything went black
I said "This ant where I am!"
thats the bottom of my frying pan
being held my wife
who I called the antichrist
was waking me up early that day
in the most hurtful of ways
she yelled"go dig a darn ditch
you good for nothing son of a B____!"
well my face was still stinging
and the frying pan was a swinging
so I grabbed my coffee pot
and said "thanks a fricking lot!"
I heard the frying pan hit the floor
as I ran out the front door
well with my coffee and my thong
I got the newspaper off the front lawn
I looked in the window and saw my wife,s fat abs
then I turned the paper to the want ads
now I don,t know if it floats
but theres a fella in here selling his sailboat
it did seem strange
cause "that things in my price range!"
then without a doupt
I got in my truck to check it out
well the owners face was angry and long!
then I realized "darn I'm still wearing my thong!"
but I did like his boat
and sure enough it did float
so I said"what the heck
hey bo will u take a check?"
within a minute I won the bid
and sail away with her I did
never looking back was not a sin
I just let the antichrist win
then to spite my old spouse
I called my boat "SHE GOT THE HOUSE!"
by Capt. Mike
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