Setting Up Two Vegetables

On the planet of crispy green celery in the tubal atmosphere There was a cocky little celery Sam who thought himself rather dear. I very easily may be the cutest stalk in the whole southern hemisphere, He said to a colleague, Fred Turnip, with no laugh, smile, twinkle or sneer. “My friend Sammy Celery is rather conceited, I do fear,” Fred told his pretty radish wife, Ruthy Bee, who was standing quite near. “We should set him up with Miss Too Wonderful Tomato,” She said. “Okay, dear?” And, yes, she said this without a semblance of a joke, a jest, or jeer. So they set up the two who loved to brag about themselves with no fear. That they might offend anyone or everyone with their haughty atmosphere. Only one date, as they both bragged incessantly, and there was no one to hear. “That date was the worst I ever had,” they each said to everyone who got near. Which was not actually many people in this educated stratosphere.