Self Love, If Only

I wish I knew you when I was young Self love, why did you fail to show up When I needed you most? Don't you know how painful Can hate laden arrows feel Don't you know of the humiliation Of putting those who never valued, first, Only to realize that their sole aim Was to shatter me to pieces So that they do shine forth While, I, taking myself to be A mere lump made of dried mud, Hid and cowered in places where darkness Refused to peek? Self love, with you, I would have learnt confidence Probably, even how to give love But since you were not there I grew up with a piece missing And that is, the bright side of myself! Now, I am in a rehabilitation process One in which I am learning to love myself To forgive myself, to lick at my own fur So that, like those raging lionesses, My roar does make my enemies cower! Self love, you were not there And I never knew happiness All I ever did was try to please others By pushing their boulders up the steeps All I ever did was to try to adjust to society By being the rose in its jar When I am in fact, the silvery flower from the moon Meant not to be revealed to anyone Except to those having, like me, A pure heart and an awakened mind! Self love, during my youth I was the butterfly Who believed it was a moth Never did I perceive my own essence Never did I give anyone a chance at it either Self love, without you, life was harsh So much that I always felt I was swimming in seas Infested with sharks and crocodiles So much that I always felt I had to keep afloat When the waves raged So much that I always felt I had to keep smiling Even if I knew, in the very end, I would drown! Self love, without you, I have learnt to be strong And brave My strength has pushed me, though, On the path where you reside, And now, I am learning to know you And to live with you As if, I was still young!