Secretly Anxious

Sitting without slouching. And standing without shaking. Remembering that it’s ok to hesitate sometimes. If I take a breath- They are not judging. In fact- they are taking the opportunity to pause along with me. With a smile that was secretly rehearsed. The entire time- I am secretly waiting to return to my crevice. Where I can return to being worried and alone. But this time- there is a bit of pride in the mix. And I smile, even though no one can see. Worried, and alone, and proud.