Schizophrenic

Stop talking at me like you know my deepest fears… ^^???^^

You know nothing.    ^^&&&^^
You give orders,
   strange 
          twisted 
                orders… ^^___^^
    and expect 
               my full 
                      complicity…

You want me to do what???? Why????       ^^()()*****()()^^
Under whose authority?                              ^^??^^
This is some kind of sick joke isn’t it??? 
Answer me!!......               ^^!!!@@$$$%$# @@!!!^^

These wary friends, my head they crowd.
This constant noise, they get so loud…

Torment, anguish, the wish to die. 
The voices sound so shrill, so dry.
Rat tat tat on my skull they go

The lights have dimmed, LET'S START THE SHOW!!! 

#$&%*$$$$##* @))@ @))@ @))@ @))@ …………………………..

What’s wrong with me? Where have I been?
What have I done? Why have I sinned?

What happened here? 
    This blood amiss.
       This stranger’s fear. 
          This lover’s kiss?
              This smoking gun.
                This sickly fun.
                  Excited hearts go 
                     Thump… Thump… Thump…….


Now I’m calm, I wish to rest.
Their will is done, I tried my best
Prisoner’s dilemma, these bars so thick
This pain that shoots up from the wrists.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Palli Avatar
February 23, 2010 at 5:31 AM
So real! Can feel the emotion
 Avatar
October 11, 2009 at 7:37 PM
You let the reader experience the confusion that sufferers of this disabling disease often deal with. The symbols and format add to the experience of your words. Thank you for your thoughtful reflection on my poem. I enjoy poetic discussions and different views as I don't pretend to have all the answers. Thank you for sharing your honesty. Karen
Devonshire Avatar
August 14, 2009 at 10:26 AM
Yoni, wanted to clarify that I feel schizophrenia is like a prison. My nephew has schizoid effective disorder and he lived in a very troubled world filled with monsters and anguish until we found the right medication for him. The lights are back on for him; he's much better now, but the illness will remain with him. Love, Carolyn
Guzzi Avatar
August 14, 2009 at 6:24 AM
ut ohhhh don't like the image that last line gave me???and me bot being here to talk ya down??? general anxiety is ENOUGH for me too handle NO voices please! EXCELLENT example of an altered reality, just still a reality! Light & Love Soup me I will be around a few more hours! Light & Love
Chircop Avatar
August 14, 2009 at 4:50 AM
the voice,the pain,seeing all so dark,the mind playing games,will the mind cotrol us or shall we control our minds?prisoners of thoughts suffocating the persona--yet weare the rulers in the end....did i get it Yoni?your writes are so clever yoni--i love the style
Kendrick Avatar
August 13, 2009 at 4:52 PM
Interesting style and writing. Keep writing. Sara
Megens Avatar
August 13, 2009 at 8:53 AM
I totally understand what you are talking about i have been there for many years and i to felt your pain and i was not the orderly person i was all alone and no one heard me i want you to know i am with you all the way on this one great piece and i look forward to your writings
Devonshire Avatar
August 13, 2009 at 8:13 AM
Life in prison must be filled with pain and anguish and I can only image the "show" that begins when the lights are dimmed. As for following orders, in many countries prisoners who faily to comply face torture even more painful than that which you describe. The visions of the cell block are powerfully conveyed, even if you are imprisoned within your own mind. Very provocative, Yoni! Love, Carolyn
Brown Avatar
August 13, 2009 at 7:57 AM
Absolutely breath taking. Edge of the chair I was. Thank you for sharing Yoni. Love, Carol
Higgins Avatar
August 13, 2009 at 7:37 AM
This is excellent. I love how the voices came alive in the piece...very creative my friend..good work.
Arteaga Avatar
August 13, 2009 at 7:30 AM
very good! I feel with your added little marks this person must be still cursing and swishing around like a lunatic, while these thoughts are taking place, has a good rhyme in it too, good poem (:
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