Schizophernia

A word to discribe me confused. I mostly feel lost and empty. But when I check inside I mostly feel blank. I have more that one inner critic mostly she and the hallucinations never stop But if my present mood was a color it would be disoriented. I am a person who's different from others I hear and see what others can not. My internal dialoge can be confusing and threatening. I get paranoid and jumpy from listening to her. I perfer noise to quiet. Sometimes reality gets mixed up and i dont know my way back. Other times I feel like crying. If i had one wish I would wish never to have this.