Scattered

Hi. I’m feeling scattered. I’m completely overrun upstairs. where thoughts should be processed individually, at a normal speed. Nope, not for me. Currently they’re racing. It seems like they’ve created tracks that are now zipping in and around me I can’t seem to escape, they're at every bend Surely, if I try to slow down, I will get pummeled by the thoughts that are speeding back around. I should install stop signs again. I thought that PHD said that this is one thing I can control. If anything, my thoughts are my own. This was it. Though in this moment that feels like a load of incorrect gibberish, doesn’t it? Right. I should make a right. If only I could transfer off this derailing train. Find respite from these Nascar like thoughts who avoid pit stops, relentlessly. I believed I was alright. I thought maybe this time magic happened, and I didn’t have to go against my own head traffic. I was hoping I was cured of this invisible monster and this unpaid debt I still can't catch a thought to bargain with. Several months back, I hired a thought traffic controller to navigate those rush hour thoughts that ignore installed processing stops. Seems like a forever halt is an absolute not. I’m tired, but like I said, they rarely slow down to stop. Not even for me. Also, why do some people like me and some not? Why is it hard for me to accept that I am just a human being made imperfect designed with mechanics that have millions of kinks. To think one day, you and I will cease to exist. I digress. Do you see how easy it is for my brain to run off topic? Just zipping by. Ready to piggyback on the next thought passing, “sigh” It’s quite busy up here in this head traffic. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and just want to cause a pile up to see what happens. That was a bit reactive but really, like it or not, one day unexpectedly they will all just stop. Oh Great, another thought. Good day, I’m a little scattered today. I think I mentioned that. Oh, and to answer your question, I'm doing ok