Santa-Cide
[Jenna recently described Santa’s job spec. I said I fancied
the job… and then Tom killed him. Well I couldn’t take that lying down!]
[[by the way… say ‘chance’ like you’re American, unless you are American,
In which case, say it like you’re you]]
*
So Santa is dead or so it is said
Tom C left Soup Creek to ‘put him to bed’
It’s a cold hard truth
That up on the roof
‘You’re taking a dive,’ he angrily said
Mr Red’s vacated his position
I will step up with one precondition
I want gin not brandy
And if I get randy
An elf-ess with no inhibition
What is Cunningham's hidden agenda
Did he hope he would be a contender
He ain’t got a chance
My ass fits the pants
Mr C is a bare faced pretender
But this is a time of goodwill
And warm hearts in spite of the chill
This note that I’ve found
Says free drinks all round
And Tom C is paying the bill
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