Santa Claus Dies On Christmas Eve
Santa Claus Dies on Christmas Eve
By Elton Camp
The fat man with the vacuous “Ho, ho”
Met disaster while he was on the go
Mall appearances and to multitask
Was too much of the old elf to ask
His conduct list he was trying to update
With a start, saw he was running late
Santa downed a cup of cider by a tree
That time, of alcohol, it wasn’t free
His good judgment it did impair
As he drove his sled into the air
A young woman on his naughty list
He had decided he wouldn’t miss
He was sending a text so he could say
That to her house he was on the way
Just as Santa was about to press Send
A thundering wall crash his life did end
Texting while flying is against the law
For very good reason as Santa Claus saw
Dead reindeer are lying over the ground
And toys from a bag scattered all around
A child reading this poem might be pissed
Unless he’s one usually on the naughty list
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