Safe But Bored
SAFE BUT BORED
First it was cigarettes and their warnings about survival
From no less a person than the surgeon general.
Then bottles of beer with brief messages polite
About shortened life, or complications with eyesight.
All are important, but only the thin end of the wedge:
For now there’s no comforting seat, we’re all on edge -
About MSG, and food genetically-modified,
Colorants and flavorings - all E-number certified,
Bread which now has no salt, and no nut in,
No sugar, no starch, and also no glutin,
Tasteless hamburgers that state on the package
This burger contains no meat, need not be kept in fridge.
No animals were killed in making this sausage -
(And none which died naturally ether, if I’m any judge).
Colas which increase risk of ADS, so students can’t think;
Caffeine-free coffee, and an alcohol-free vodka drink.
My GPS tells me driving over 55 mph can shorten my life:
So can a swim in Lake Erie, observes my wife.
I am fully warned, and fully safe, and all in accord,
But life is zestless and I am fully bored.
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