Saboteur

saboteur 
lying in wait 
in the camouflage
of my unsure
intentions
acrid ants of doubt
run amok 
in black swarms of 
errant motion
fixed wings impaled
by pins of lies
goodbyes
and busted dreams
oh when did I fall 
and forget to get up
how far did I go
before I forgot
is she in the pale
reaching into the void
only to find me
adrift
with shame by my side
and a bottle of confusion
along for the ride
the saboteur smiles
in deft illusion
yesterday and tomorrow
struggling in fusion
lovus interuptus
the most horrible of intrusions
what’s done has morphed
into painful protrusion
and what of my vision of
pure virgin white
stained by deception
deconstructed in one night
left old and stumbling
on the precipice of fright
frantically searching
to make it right

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