"rush"

Free falling Your body about to leave your burdened soul Soiled by years of lies and sins All about to be cleansed In the most extreme sacrifice. Make your last amends Say your last wish But save your last words, For no one cares to read dead mans tales's in this caniving society. Now take the plunge 1,000 feet above ground Now six feet under. Sanctity has come at last, Your one of the lucky few To be granted the premature priviledge of an early escape.

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Robert Pettit

Date: 1/17/2011 6:39:00 PM

Nice wording here. You have to make two changes in your ninth line: First, remove the 's in "tales's". The apostrophe belongs in your word "mans". Second, your word "caniving" is correctly spelled "conniving". Everything else appears to be fine.

Susan Palli

Date: 11/15/2010 11:16:00 AM

I hear you! (Soup mail)

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 11/5/2010 8:28:00 AM

I would like to welcome you to PoetrySoup Antonio. Wishing you the best in your writing endeavors. You can look to the left side of the main page and find lots of information on PoetrySoup including contests by members of PoetrySoup and contests by the PoetrySoup site also which you as a new member and us oldies also may enter. If you have questions please feel free to ask ANYONE here. We are ALL willing to help and if we don't know the answer we will find someone who does. Love, Carol

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 11/5/2010 7:19:00 AM

Welcome to Poetry Soup.. so enjoyed reading your most creative write today with its lovely theme... hope your time on Soup is special and fun.. check out the contest page offered to members.. good luck with luv..