Rules For Party-Going

Always arrive last and leave first
Be present, but not the life of the party
Come bearing a gift for the hostess,
Don’t spill your drink on the sofa.
Eat the hors d’oevres sparingly
Forget not to thank profusely,
Give high praise to the caterer
Hear nothing you would repeat.
If you’re wondering, ask discreetly
Just pass up the drinks if you’re driving
Kindly don’t light up a smoke!
Look like you’re having fun
Make suitable gestures when conversing,
Never flirt with someone you don’t know
Only offer genuine compliments.
Practice your skills at entertaining small talk
Quietly slip away from boring groups,
Refuse requests to entertain the guests
Sandals, a definite no; loafers are casual,
Take some time with everyone present
Understand the social pecking order.
Visit the bathroom only once, if necessary
Watch your language, and,
(E)Xpect to commit one faux pas
You were invited, you are important
Zingers (dirty jokes) are inappropriate 

written March 2, 2022
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

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Krutsinger Avatar
March 3, 2022 at 8:51 AM
This is impressively wonderfully well executed my friend!
Hankins Avatar
March 3, 2022 at 9:33 AM
It was purely a fun write. I haven't been to a party that demanded these "guidelines" in years! I've never been much of a socializer, which may seem surprising. Deb and I used to have signals when I would let her know I needed to leave, as I would feel an anxiety attack coming on. She was always eager to go as well. We were our own best company.
Chies Avatar
March 2, 2022 at 7:20 PM
I followed ALL the rules (but I confess that I sometimes told inappropriate jokes, eventually drank and drove afterwards, but sandals NEVER, NEVER!!!!!)
Hankins Avatar
March 2, 2022 at 7:45 PM
Hi Marco...well, I'm delighted to know that! Thanks so much for your read and for your clever, interesting comment.
Kyser Avatar
March 2, 2022 at 6:11 PM
Good advice!
Hankins Avatar
March 2, 2022 at 7:17 PM
Absolutely just killing time, my friend. My muse went to visit a friend and hasn't returned. It's aggravating!
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