Rules For Party-Going
Always arrive last and leave first
Be present, but not the life of the party
Come bearing a gift for the hostess,
Don’t spill your drink on the sofa.
Eat the hors d’oevres sparingly
Forget not to thank profusely,
Give high praise to the caterer
Hear nothing you would repeat.
If you’re wondering, ask discreetly
Just pass up the drinks if you’re driving
Kindly don’t light up a smoke!
Look like you’re having fun
Make suitable gestures when conversing,
Never flirt with someone you don’t know
Only offer genuine compliments.
Practice your skills at entertaining small talk
Quietly slip away from boring groups,
Refuse requests to entertain the guests
Sandals, a definite no; loafers are casual,
Take some time with everyone present
Understand the social pecking order.
Visit the bathroom only once, if necessary
Watch your language, and,
(E)Xpect to commit one faux pas
You were invited, you are important
Zingers (dirty jokes) are inappropriate
written March 2, 2022
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