Regrets -

I never liked the smell of lilacs although they were always
your favorite flower.
When did you stop bringing them home?  I never noticed, 
Wish I had.

I always thought walking through pine-scented woods was such
a bore, kicking leaves, how foolish I thought, and didn't
hesitate to tell you so...collect them for a fall bouquet, 
hell no! 
Wish I had.

How my memories haunt me now; I rejected your every whim, such
little things.
You wanting to build a snowman, I complained, 
'It's too cold for that', and how hurt you were when I wouldn't
wear that silly hat you bought for my birthday, from my favorite
store,
Wish I had.

I found an old letter today, stuffed deep in the pocket of your
old coat, the one I never liked, both smelling of lilacs.
The letter was penned in an unfamiliar hand.
Bits of crumbled leaves fell as I unfolded the pages of this, your private world.
Some words were faded by time and splotches of tears.
Yours? 
Hers?  
No matter!
Such gentle words, flowing sweet with love
like the music of a string quartet.
If only I had written those words that must have made you smile, 
mellowed your mood, touched your heart, but it's been so long
since I spoke to you of love.
Wish I had.

Sitting alone, lost in a turmoil of cluttered 'might have beens', 
the ring of the phone startles me; it's you, expressing your regret, 
you are going to be late again.
I wanted to ask you to bring lilacs home for the table I'd just
set, but I didn't!
But oh God!  I wish I had! 
I was always too proud to cry until now!
I wish I had! 
I wish I had!

Cynthia
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

A   Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 4:09 PM
Cynthia, congratulations in Frank's contest. Happy to see you on his winning list.. always~ LINDA
Alvez Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Thank you Linda! Love hearing from you! Cynthia
May Avatar
February 18, 2013 at 4:56 PM
awesome write Cynthia....I like the' turmoil of cluttered might have beens' line....congrats on your win
Alvez Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 9:48 AM
Joseph, thank you so much...means a lot! Cynthia
Haick Avatar
February 18, 2013 at 4:21 PM
Congratulations on your very fine win, Cynthia! This is profound... Annalise
Alvez Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Annalise, Thank you most sincerely! Cynthia
Guzzi Avatar
February 18, 2013 at 3:39 PM
Wow Cynthia this is a great write. You have time!! Congrad's on your win. Light & Love
Alvez Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 9:50 AM
Debbie, Thank you so much for your kind word! Cynthia
Johnson-Saunders Avatar
September 2, 2012 at 11:41 PM
I love this heartfelt, poignant write, Cynthia! I think we can all relate in some way...well-written! Hugs, Rhonda
Alvez Avatar
September 2, 2012 at 11:59 PM
Rhonda, Thank you...this has long been one of my favorite poems...I love reciting it at readings and often asked to "recite it again!" ...glad you enjoyed it. Cynthia
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace