Reflections
Today is five months since my son died
I woke up with the heaviness that comes
with grief and took some time to reflect
on the last five months of my loss
and the twenty six years that I
had with my son before he died
Grief is the result of love and I am grateful
that I had the chance to know and love
my handsome, smart, compassionate son
Although he is no longer on earth, the love
I feel for him is still present and strong
and is big part of who I am as a person and a mom
With grief comes sadness, for what is no longer,
but also comes an awareness of God and the role
he has played in my life always, but that role has
gotten bigger since Josh died. God has always been
a big, powerful God, but I have just needed him more
since that day and he showed up in a big way
I have moments where I picture my son at peace,
which is something I did not see in the last four years
of his life. I am grateful for that image and this mother's
shattered heart clings to that image and prays that
other people experiencing this pain can get comfort
where they can find it in their search for healing and peace
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