Recollections of a Reckless Youth

Warning: Mature themes, though at the time. Recollections of a Reckless Youth Walking On Air. I was young, I was fair, I was walking on air For tonight was the night of the dance To the girls I would chat about this about that In the hope of a one night romance As I walked through the door I surveyed all before And saw, what words can’t express She was there, she was fair, she was walking on air As I ogled her little black dress Then to my surprise, she fluttered her eyes And I took this to be a good sign If I played my cards right and she did not take flight Maybe in an hour she’d be mine We were getting on fine as I spun out my line Thought, with drink or two I would ply She went on about maths and explained all the graphs As I mumbled dumb yeahs bye and bye But I soon found the path to making her laugh And she had, the sweetest of giggles Which I did not mind cause my eyes they did find She had the most wonderful jiggles Took her hand with a tug, on the floor cut a rug How her hips, she swayed so in time As we rocked Mony Mony she proved was no phoney Her moves, I thought were divine How I longed to hold her, to kiss her pale shoulder To have her if just for one night To my will reduce her, to be her seducer And love her till cold mornings light Could it be right it was love at first sight That drew me to this little Miss Cause I could not part from the strains in my heart That were giving my senses such bliss Then out of the dark, he came like a shark His blonde hair, fluffy and bright He moved with such grace, had a pretty face His teeth, all gleaming and white Was her that he blamed as the woman he claimed And was clear, she was going to sack me Was it me dancing, me Fred Astaire prancing ? P--lease, don’t say it’s me acne I stood on his shoe and the air it turned blue With words here I cannot repeat The bouncers he knew and out me they threw With a bumperty bump down the street Kicked out on my ass, I was walking on glass And the road home was lonely and cold There’d be no sweet nuffins or hedgerow stuffing’s And no warm bosom to hold So I’d walked half a mile, still found no smile Realising I had lost my cred I lit ‘nother smoke, swore at some bloke When thoughts, they entered my head Could justice be sweeter, if one day I meet her Discover, to he who waits That she had slumped him, finally dumped him As he told her he was Master Bates Be something she’s fond, something like James Bond And I doubt I would see her to thank her Come to think of it, he’s also a twit That Bond, he’s just ’nother w****r Now hang on a tick and stop being a p***k Don’t wallow in your own despair You know she’s not thick and you’ll need a new trick If this woman your going to snare Now the cogs they did whirl how to capture this girl For she was all over my mind Of this sweet conundrum, the answer would come Of that, I was sure I would find As my key hit door I was happy once more With words, I cannot express I’d made a good start, into her heart Now to get her, out of that dress I was young, I was fair, I was walking on air For next week was the night of the dance To the girls I would chat about this about that And who knows, might have ’nother chance. As I walked through the door, it was her that I saw And our eyes, they met with a knowing Though she was unaware and I could not declare The plan I was carefully sowing Just as I’d contrived the bozo arrived And he started to push me around With a thump and a whack and an almighty crack I found myself flat on the ground Kicked out on my ass, I was sitting in glass When a figure was stood by my side It was my piece of skirt and she asked was I hurt Oh, the joy, I hardly could hide I swiped off the mud while she wiped off the blood And decided to home I’d escort her My plan had worked out and I now had no doubt That I, had finally caught her We cut through the park but there would be no lark Not with, my new lady fair And all the folk swore we defied Newton’s law As sailed along, walking on air. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY