Sandra Adams Poet Free verse

Reaching Out

my mind feels cornered again
every thought has me hanging
on sanity's edge

i reach for you
this ringing in my head
offers little hope
as it echoes
through the phone

a momentary pause
before the pre-recorded voice
the usual message after the tone
as the tone of mood changes

i can feel my emotions
fall like shadows
on lonely walls

my air is heavy
like these blades
that press
steel force
against my flesh

a drop of blood 
trickles down
pulsating 
to the tune 
of my heart's beat

darkness draws its line
between life and death
and feeds my thoughts

death dances at my door
and i can feel its cold press
as it cuts through me again
like a blade's edge
steel-force


my version of the poem
Leave a message after the beep
 by Just That Archaic Poet

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Kelly Deschler November 13, 2013 at 4:29 PM I love the suspenseful feeling in these words. Your version of his poem was amazing, Sandra! Congratulations on your well deserved win!...Thank you for the kind congrats on my poem. I appreciate it very much! :) Sandra Adams November 13, 2013 at 8:08 PM thank you Kelly...hugs :)

Andrea Dietrich November 12, 2013 at 11:32 PM Sandra, for me this is one of the best in the entire contest. Congrats. I am honored to be placed near you in the list! Sandra Adams November 13, 2013 at 8:08 PM thank you Andrea :) hugs

Olusegun Arowolo November 12, 2013 at 5:46 PM Beautifully written.Congrats on your superb win in this contest.Great work ,friend.... Sandra Adams November 12, 2013 at 7:32 PM thank you my sweet friend...hugs :)

Karen Anglesey November 12, 2013 at 12:26 PM Hi Sandra, I am delighted to be placed in a contest along side your stunning work. I usually try to pick out a favorite line that stands out; in this one, they all do. Captivating~ congrats on your well deserved win :) Sandra Adams November 12, 2013 at 7:31 PM I am honored to be placed alongside of yours and i knew yours was a winner when i read it... i will be over to congratulate you in a moment :) hugs

Joseph May November 12, 2013 at 10:50 AM congrats on a fine win Sandra Sandra Adams November 12, 2013 at 7:30 PM thank you Joseph :)

Richard Lamoureux November 12, 2013 at 8:11 AM Kind of like getting a on hold message when calling the suicide hot line. I so appreciate your poetic artistry Sandra. Congratulations. Sandra Adams November 12, 2013 at 7:25 PM Thank you so much Richard...i think in his original he was calling a friend and got voicemail instead of them.. hugs :)

Poet Destroyer A October 26, 2013 at 11:46 AM is this a collaboration Sandra, if so please point out his and your part... I'm only curious... I'll be back to check and see if you replied... hugs.. LINDA Sandra Adams October 26, 2013 at 1:13 PM no Linda, not a collaboration, his contest wants you to take one of his poems and rework it into your own piece...his pome was titled leave a message after the beep and this was my take on his poem~ Thank you....hugs Sandy

Kelly Deschler October 23, 2013 at 5:42 PM A very dark, suspenseful, and foreboding poem. I liked it very much! Terrific work! I wish you the best of luck in the contest! Sandra Adams October 26, 2013 at 1:14 PM Thank you Kelly...hugs :) hope your weekend is great!

Nette Onclaud October 20, 2013 at 3:29 PM stopping by to ask if you are working on something new, sandra.... stay fine..:) huggs Sandra Adams October 20, 2013 at 6:32 PM i was working on a new poem...days have been busy, muse has been hushed...got one up though...thanks for stopping by...hugs :)

Joseph May October 20, 2013 at 5:13 AM nicely penned Sandra....I did one called Call optons which is similar to this......thanks for stopping by... Sandra Adams October 20, 2013 at 6:34 PM thank you Joseph will have to check it out...was it a remake of Just That Archaic Poet's poem as well?

Andrea Dietrich October 19, 2013 at 11:14 PM just stopping by to say hi, didn't see any new poems. dang it. Sandra Adams October 20, 2013 at 6:33 PM lol...wrote 3 in two days and then the muse got quiet for a few days...too much going on to think i suppose... ...hello and hugs :)

Carrie Richards October 19, 2013 at 7:52 PM This was powerfully your own, even if taken by the sponsor's work.....you have made it your own. Beautifully crafted!! Sandra Adams October 20, 2013 at 6:35 PM thank you Carrie...i had felt an instant connection with his piece and the words came easy! hugs :)

Ken Carroll October 19, 2013 at 4:43 PM Hi Sandra, Enjoyable dark night of the soul write..Well done.. Ken

Richard Lamoureux October 18, 2013 at 8:14 AM Dark and effective piece. You are so very talented and create significant imagery. Sandra Adams October 18, 2013 at 9:08 PM thank you Richard for your kind words :)

Andrea Dietrich October 17, 2013 at 7:52 PM WOW, you are so amazing. He is going to flip for this one. He is getting so many good poems, I am now wanting to have people do this for MY next contest but using my own poems. Hmmm, don't know if I should do it or not. I might look too much like a copy cat. Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 8:43 PM thank you Andrea...i took one of his free verse poems because i figured it would spark my muse...it is a fun contest...hugs :)

John Posey October 17, 2013 at 11:27 AM Great response!! You are an artist with pen and ink.... Love your style and thoroughly enjoy your posts.... Love and hugs.... Jake Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 8:42 PM thank you for your visit and comment.... hugs :)

Liam Mcdaid October 16, 2013 at 4:36 PM wow amazing beautiful piece Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 10:11 AM thank you liam :) hugs

Harry Horsman October 16, 2013 at 3:47 PM very powerful poem is this Sandra,,, Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 10:11 AM thank you Harry...hugs :)

Lisa Mccall October 15, 2013 at 4:58 PM Really deep! Nice poem Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 10:12 AM thank you very much Lisa :)

Tim Ryerson October 15, 2013 at 3:09 PM Lordy me Sandra, this is troubling, mesmerizing and absolutely beautiful all rolled into one...Haven't read the original but you sure nailed it! And the winner is... Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 10:13 AM thank you Tim....I tried to get inside the poet's head to feel what they felt to write this one :) hugs

Nette Onclaud October 15, 2013 at 2:59 PM hauntingly delivered in a semi-abstract tone, sandra.. it flows like a thought hitting rocks and coming down the hillside, bruised.. well-penned!..:) huggs Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 10:14 AM thank you Nette....I could feel the desperation behind the poet's words as I read the original...hugs :)

Christine Phillips October 15, 2013 at 12:41 AM Nice poem. I like the contrast that you have made with the ringing in your head and the actual phone itself. They blend quite well. Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 10:15 AM thank you Christine :) hugs

Michael Ainsley October 14, 2013 at 11:02 PM I have danced with darkness myself Sandra so its hard to say good poem without saying I hope you are beyond this sadness now. I am going to look for a happy poem in your collection before I go. Sandra Adams October 17, 2013 at 10:15 AM thank you Michael...It was a remake on another's poets poem :) hugs

Liam Mcdaid October 14, 2013 at 4:21 PM dazzling beautiful piece Sandra Adams October 14, 2013 at 4:24 PM thank you so much my friend :) hugs

Anne-Lise Andresen October 14, 2013 at 1:41 PM .....beeep.... a sad poem....beeep :*( Sandra Adams October 14, 2013 at 4:24 PM thank you...I chose a sad one from the poet to rework, so I had to put myself in that mine frame... hugs :)