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Reach Out 2 Hold U

Doubt formulates inside my brain
The black hole draws me in like water to the drain
I’m going quite insane, quite insane
As a deeper whole, I hear cascading sorrow calling for me and I’m in pain

Diving deep into the waters of my shame…I’m a long lost sheep…all alone…
I have no one to blame, but myself honestly…ashamed 
Arriving undone in the blues and blurs of the deep, deep unknown
Of the past and present pain…brewing in my brain…so untamed

I reach out to hold you in vast grace
But find nobody there to purely embrace
I wish there was surely a way out of this race
I feel like a disgrace as sweat drips upon my face

I can’t keep pace with my horrendous, heartless heartbeats
I still smell you on my blue and white striped bedsheets
I don’t want to embrace this tribulant, turbulent waves of doubt
I want to walk this route of hopefulness and you know what I’m talking about

I feel a little incomplete
I can’t wipe this feeling off my feet
I want to have a reason to live here
I need to have a season for some cheer —
A hand to hold so dear
I reach out to hold you near
I fear you don’t understand
Where our airplanes of thoughts land

I reach out to hold you in vain
I’m calling out to you cuz I’m in pain
Where did you go?
I don’t really know 
If you’ll set me free
If you ever leave me be
Just let me be…free and…
Uncanny with a hand to hold, a friend to lend an ear, to understand
Almost everything I’ve conquered and overcame
Almost everything I’ve gone through through the rainstorms and sunshine
Almost everything I’ve heard in my childhood and what’s soon to come, but I don’t know when, but I’m feeling like a ten and feeling your zen (peace be with you) —
A future so bright, so much brighter than delight, someone to reach out to hold me tight throughout the night to let this pain numb and then, I will become whole again (hold me so true)

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