Raising a Man

I AM A WOMAN FORCED TO RAISE A MAN EVERY MAN IN MY LIFE HAS EITHER LIED OR ABUSED HURT OR CONFUSED ME SO HERE I AM STUCK I'M JUST ALL OUT OF LUCK AND FRANKLY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO I AM A WOMAN FORCED TO RAISE A MAN AND I DON’T HAVE A CLUE I LOVE MY CHILD BUT I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE I HAVE BEEN AROUND REALLY STRONG WOMEN BUT RAISING A BOY TO BE A MAN? I DON’T KNOW THE BEGINNING MY DAD WAS A ALL AROUND ABUSER ABUSER OF WOMEN ABUSER OF DRUGS ABUSER OF ALCOHOL ABUSER MENTALLY TO PEOPLE COCAINE IS A HELL OF A DRUG THEN I GREW UP I BECOME INVOLVED WITH A MAN THE FATHER OF MY CHILD AND HERE I AM EXPOSING MY SON TO THE SAME TYPE OF MAN A MAN THAT ABUSES ME PHYSICALLY AS WELL AS MENTALLY IS A PUNCH MORE THAN A SLAP? WOULD YOU RATHER BE CHOKED OR CALLED NAMES? I DON’T KNOW WHO'S MORE TO BLAME I USED TO BE IN DENIAL JUST BECAUSE HE NEVER PUNCHED ME JUST BECAUSE MY EYES HAD NEVER BEEN BLACKENED BUT I MAINTAINED TO HAVE SCARS LEFT BEHIND ALL OF THE GRABBING AND THE SCRATCHING ALL OF THE DRAGGING ME ACROSS THE FLOOR I HONESTLY FELT NUMB THIS HAS BECOME MY NEW NORM I BEGAN TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT IT I BEGAN TO EXPECT A FIGHT I BEGAN TO STOP CARING ABOUT THE REPERCUSSIONS FOR MY ACTIONS I DIDN’T CARE IF I LIVED OR I DIED THEN I REALIZED I HAVE A PERSON THAT DEPENDS ON ME HE DEPENDS ON ME TO DO THINGS I HAVE A SON TO TEACH AND I AM A WOMAN FORCED TO RAISE A MAN AND ALTHOUGH I NEVER HAD ANY GOOD EXAMPLES OF WHAT A REAL MAN IS ALL I CAN DO IS TEACH HIM WHAT A REAL MAN DOESN’T DO A REAL MAN DOESN’T HURT THE PEOPLE THAT HE LOVES A REAL MAN DOESN’T ABUSE ANYONE A REAL MAN DOESN’T ABUSE SUBSTANCES, BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT HE NEEDS TO LIVE LONG TO BE THERE FOR HIS FAMILY A REAL MAN LOVES HARD HARD ENOUGH TO LET A WOMAN GO IF NEED BE A REAL MAN DOESN’T MAKE EXCUSES A REAL MAN DOESN’T LIE A REAL MAN IS GENTLE AND KIND I MAY ONLY BE A MOTHER TO SOME BUT I HAVE A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY I HAVE TO RAISE MY BOY INTO A MAN THE BEST THAT I CAN HE DESERVES A BETTER LIFE IT’S TIME TO END THE CYCLE UNTIL THEN I AM A WOMAN FORCED TO RAISE A MAN ALL IN A DAYS POET-TEA TIME