Queen For a Day

There was once a TV show called Queen for a Day; Its premise was really bizarre. Contestants were chosen to prove to the world How their pathos could lower the bar. Their sob stories covered all manner of ills – Like bankruptcy, jail or disease. The audience listened and voted for one More pathetic by several degrees. A meter on stage measured all the applause (For the claps equaled votes, one supposes). Then the winner appeared and they gave her a crown And a cape and a bouquet of roses. There were tears, there were sighs and euphoria reigned; Spirits certainly couldn’t get higher. Then to top it all off, they presented the Queen With a shiny new washer and dryer! How that solved all her problems I never did get But I learned that a washing machine, If presented with roses, a cape and a crown Could transform someone into a queen!