Punishing Herself Gladly
Ideas bark and growl
One of them bites her
But still she persists
Punishing herself by not writing
Not painting
Not doing anything she likes to do
She deserves to be flogged, whipped, and beaten
She made a big mistake,
She is determined to ruin the rest of her life if necessary
Why don’t you write something? Another encourages her
He has no idea what she has done.
She withdraws into the small place inside her heart
Where she can drag in her soul and paint it an ugly gray
A hideous brown place with thorns and prickly pokey things
Her enemy has a name
But she is too angry to use it now
She is not human; she is a mistake.
Punishing herself gladly
Not giving herself one ounce of relief, hope or encouragement.
The soul sighs, remembering other times like this
Hoping this time will be different.
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