Professor Z Ruff Cat Studier
I have a relative who is a famous professor working at Mouse T. University
He is treated by all of the clan as an expert in cats, and he is a celebrity
It is rather amazing that a small mouse professor is an expert on cats
He secretly lived among them for twenty years down in Bat Flats
By day he acted like a cat. Wore a pair of truly plausible faux cat ears
By night, he wrote up cat habits to save mice from their feline fears.
Named professor by university after he completed seven insightful books
They were hilarious, and made cats seem like the world’s biggest schnooks
He lectured on cats all day at his job, and was paid a ridiculous amount.
The mice took meticulous notes, and made every moment of his class count.
Cats are slightly blind to the left, so always run that direction.
If you bite them on the neck, you can give them an infection.
Cats are not fond of Vicks Vapor Rub, so if you put it in their eye,
They cannot catch you today, you can skate right past, bye and bye.
Cats are easily fooled, so if you wear cat ears they won’t know…
That you are a mouse at all, they are dumb from head to toe.
He has been on the circuit, interviewed on every channel of the news.
Even the faux channel, if you happen to share educated views.
There is something that my relatives know about him -a little tidbit for fun
Professor Z. Ruff never lived among the cats and has actually never met one.
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