Price of Life

The world sees me laugh during the day but don't see the tears I cry at night Daily betrayal, Tears shed, blood spilled Hate spreads and love kills I guess that's the price of life Loyalty is rare, I'm not sure if love still exists Back stabbers everywhere, almost everyone is holding a knife As a man I'm considered weak if I don't keep my emotions inside This is so real even the numb will feel this you can't hold on to old habits if you're creating a New you Dated some of the most beautiful girls, been hurt by a few too In order to move forward sometimes you have to take a step back Isn't it funny how I found a new girl on the journey of trying to get my ex back I'm repairing my heart and finally figuring out where my mind is I had one night stands with girls I wanted to spend more time with Pushed away girls who wanted to get close to me Lost my dream girl because at the time I wasn't available emotionally My anxiety forces me to play over all the mistakes I've made 5 years clean from self-harm, but I'm still judged for my scars from the blade Most would cover up, but I put it all out there and let you see me naked With how honest I am, you'd think I put my nudes on these poetry pages I mentally blocked a lot of my childhood because everyday it hurt stronger Taking a sip of this brandy while I think about my sperm donor Died 5 days before I turned 15 and I haven't shed one tear You chose alcohol over me, but finally my heart is free and head is clear The world sees me laugh during the day but don't see the tears I cry at night Daily betrayal, Tears shed, blood spilled Hate spreads and love kills I guess that's the price of life