Please Invite Me To Shop Black Friday
I would rather have all my teeth pulled out by a mad gorilla
From the psychiatric ward of a jail house in Manilla,
With a pair of dirty dingy pliers, and manure and more,
Than have to walk on Black Friday into any store’s entrance door.
Rather have my wisdom teeth pulled by this deranged gorilla head,
Without benefit of Novocain in a dirty cow-birthing shed,
Nothing neat, nothing sterile, or the least bit clean along the way,
Than have to go kicking and screaming into a store on Black Friday.
So if you think you are going to call me at two in the a.m.
And try to get me to the store, I am simply not one of them.
And if you call me at the ridiculous morning hour of two,
I will send this head-case gorilla to pull some teeth out of you.
Copyright © Caren Krutsinger | Year Posted 2018
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