Robert Ludden Poet Free verse

Phantom In My Mind

I think of her so often, wondering
if she is real.  I see myself
transcending time, creating
as a god might choose, from some
untouchable ideal, somewhere,
in surreptitious flashes,
that emerge at twilight, quite
unplanned, uncertain, yet persistent.
She disappears as readily,
fading as the shadows gather,
choosing anonymity 
as her dress of choice.

I cannot fathom her
and will not give her form;
accordingly she will not dance
for me, as might
a creature in a dream, and thus
will always, like a quantum particle
elude both sight and consciousness
through every fitful day
and each relentless night.

She will maintain that right
until the mists congeal,
revealing everything--or nothing
as she chooses; I shall breathe no more,
and this chimera which is jointly owned
by me, herself and God, perhaps,
will come of age
and fade into finality.

Oh, excuse me, dear.
I must recuse myself.
      ~

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Michelle Mac Donald August 2, 2012 at 9:12 AM Ths catches and holds the mind, Robert! To me it feels like a shrewdly discerning monologue. Coin tosses..heads will win, tails will lose, but this feels like the coin landed on its edge? Actually, I'm probably so wrong!:) Love the depth and abstruseness here, Robert. Best wishes, Mikki Robert Ludden August 2, 2012 at 9:21 AM Thanks. It is fantasy, but one based on"tangible intangibles," there but not there. Hard to explain, but then most chimeras are, aren't they? But it is not a cry of loneliness...rather an acceptance, and indeed, a delight.

Robert Ludden July 30, 2012 at 4:02 PM Thanks. There are plenty already on my page, so I shall be happy for you to look at them, and grace me with further comments. :-)

Andrea Dietrich July 30, 2012 at 2:51 PM wow, you are a VERY good writer!! If this is any indication of your writing style in your other poems, I hope I'll keep seeing you!! Good vocabulary! Robert Ludden July 30, 2012 at 4:06 PM See above.

Charlotte Puddifoot July 30, 2012 at 2:16 PM I'll excuse you any day, dear :-) this is a perfect description of butterflying! see, you didn't have to ask me what it was, you already knew! romantic and alluring, with a hint of mystery...methinks the poem would work just as well without the last two lines, they're not really needed, the natural end of the poem seems to come with the word 'finality'...how am I doing in the criticism stakes? Robert Ludden July 30, 2012 at 4:17 PM Actually I did not--as a verb, was new to me. As to the final couple, I needed a way to say that there is some doubt about "her" reality, which is necessary to imply that there is some substance here--it is not just wishful thinking. Perhaps you are right. There may be other ways of getting at that. Charlotte, to answer your question, but all means point out flaws--always. It is the way we learn, and yes, kudos for doing it! Even when I do not follow your advice (and sometimes I certainly will!) please keep it up.