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Pearl In Shell

pearl in shell
                                               deepest sea's treasure
                                                        most secret

introspectionmothernaturehaiku

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Debbie Guzzi

September 11, 2012 at 2:58 PM

Hey there..hmm not the haiku you wanted me to look at? hmm on this one, do not forget to use your 'articles' [a pearl/ is the deep sea's treasure --] see how both lines are now joined 'conceptually' /both lines are about the pearl which is the subject ;)/ and 'grammatically by the verb [is]..now line 3 needs to be a small surprise something else which could have been there which caused to to enjoy the scence even more..hmmm how about [broken treasurer chest]..okies going to find the other one

Debbie Guzzi

September 11, 2012 at 2:59 PM

PS title typo SHELL ;)