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Paranoid love

Tell me that this fear is just paranoia in my mind, 
we're not straining, we're not struggling, 
we're not sinking, we're just fine. 
I'm not perfect my dearest, but damn have I tried, 
and I'll try harder but I know I'll have the same results every time. 
Do you want me all the ways that I am? 
With all the struggles and the tears and the clinging to your hand. 
I fear your getting further and Im left on the shore to stand, 
watching you in the distance with a bullet in my hand. 
Tell me all this worry, its just clutter in my mind, 
tell me not to worry that we're doing just fine. 
Cause Im scared to run you off and I feel Im falling deep. 
And Im so frightened of these thoughts that its getting hard to sleep.
All I know is that the heart wants what it desires, 
because of you the match inside has turned into a fire. 
And I feel the broken glass thats sticking from my skin, 
Wondering if you'll remove the pain or push it back in. 
My hearts frantic wondering if you feel the same, 
pleading and begging for more than just a saying, 
but to feel and to see that im not alone, 
with being in this love thats overwhelming. 
Once I told you that we didnt have a spark, 
but you were lighting up and I was sitting in the dark. 
And this fire, this blaze its wrapped in desire. 
Im terrified to lose you, I think I might die or, 
maybe disappear from all the pieces falling out, 
im going crazy but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out, 
and I cant explain to you why I just need to hold you close, 
why every time you leave Im scared to let you go, 
why these tears are building up behind my eyes, 
all I know is that the heart wants what it desires 
and it desires to be your wife. 
So tell me in my panic, that your words are true, 
tell my my dearest what I mean to you, 
tell me that this paranoia is all within my mind 
we're not struggling, we're not sinking tell me we're just fine

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 3/7/2016 8:19:00 PM
I checked on the site after a very long time away to grab an old poem to rework into something new. You'd left me a comment after a very long time. I hope you're well too, this is a beautifully written piece you've continued writing and grown. Too often words go unspoken and it's hard to know where we stand. Hope you're well. Matt. <3
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Date: 10/26/2013 10:00:00 PM
There are few things more frightening than uncertainty. It's a bit ironic. We know (well, we should know) that tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Yet, when embraced by love/companionship/etc, we want to feel that tomorrow is promised. Such an ironic conundrum...another beautiful writing.
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Date: 9/2/2013 11:13:00 PM
Wow honey,I love this. I feel you and this is why I NEVER want to be in a relationship agian or get married agian. I don't think I'm strong as you to handle that anymore. That touched me. Thank you for sharing.(emotioal)
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Date: 8/31/2013 2:12:00 PM
You've never been better Jay; your pulse stronger than ever - pretty paranoia, heroic honesty - this awesome write reads like a powerful movie scene - your movie - J.A.B. %
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