Panic Stricken

when a friend that you consider to be closer to you than a blood relative leaves your general area of comfort it can split you in two--- if at the right time in your life (when the whole world seems like it is caving in on what you have left) everything begins to break apart & your dear friend, seeking their own peace & happiness in their own life, moves away from your comfort zone, so that the literal distance couples with the actual emotional distance, with trembling hands reaching out, age can claw at your eyes tearing your face in half because you cannot stand in their way but then you cannot bear to see them go & no paper bag will help with the breathing no pills can soothe the hurt that comes from pure, unadulterated, selfishness--- biting nails peeling blood from the bone biting the bone & bleeding to death in your apartment… with flickering eyes of near death you realize just how dependent you were on another & how much it took from you to care.