Painful Pleasure
No one prepared me for what I found
The fear
Alive
Suffocating
Alone I stood
An enemy without a face
A child I was
Though only a few years have passed
Not one single day fades into night
That I can’t feel your ghost
Hovering just close enough to miss
Yet still too far away to feel
I do not dwell but in my heart
My death is all that would’ve been accomplished
Had I stayed in your liars arms
Our passion was hell fire
That I nearly lost myself in
I would drown in your golden eyes
As you just sat back and stared
I grabbed the first outstretched hand
Terrified my escape would once again be delayed
My breath stuck in my lungs
My fear absolute
Until the mountains were unfamiliar
The black dirt turned to red
I ran from your spectre
I ran from the demons nipping at my heals
When I finally stopped
Falling flat on my face
I did not rise for days
As I cataloged all the lessons I learned
Always seeking that silver lining
Forcing the smile through the pain
Though it took some time
I forgave every player in the game
Except you
If I forgave you
I would forget you
I don’t want to be without
Your painful pleasure just yet
Copyright © Heather Crismond | Year Posted 2022
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