Home » Poems » Mariah Holmes » Outside Looking In

Outside Looking In

Days keep dragging on, 
They blur all together. 
I can barely look at things the same. 
There is nothing I want more than to see the sun again, 
To love like I had before. 
I can't keep holding onto this wish, 
No matter how many days in a row I wish for you, 
It won't be. 

I dreamed with agony, 
I fell into slumber and stayed there. 
I'm one for reading romance, 
But you've never heard of the classics that I recite. 
Only words keep me company these days, 
And they are nothing to confide in, 
Call it anything but depressing, 
Please. 

It's obvious that that is what this is, 
I wish I wasn't such trouble. 
You never think of me anymore, 
Just admit it already... 
Please be done. 
I want nothing more than to see the sun. 
My eyes stay blind. 
Thanks to you, 
I fall behind. 

The truth is, 
You won't take my hand and tell me that you are okay. 
I spent my days staying wide eyed, 
You dare not let me in. 
I could lie to you now and tell you I understand, 
But I don't know anything. 
Things look so different, 
When you are outside looking in. 
And no, 
I don't believe you are bad, 
You are golden but I... 
I can't survive. 

You shot me through the heart, 
So long ago it seems, 
But really it wasn't long ago that we exchanged names. 
The flush from my face has faded, 
Your face is made of stone. 
I can't force you. 
I can barely speak at all. 

I won't forget you, 
Even though I'm your past dream... 
Meet me sometime later, 
Nevermind, 
That sounds insane... 
I will quit this nonsense eventually, 
When I realize that things for me are not what they seem. 
It was too good to be true, 
The porch swing burns, 
The smiles crumble into dust, 
I weep silently, 
As my future slowly rusts.

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