ouch
I try …
I do
stay busy
fill time with things that occupy
my mind and muscles
take care of Mom
write
practice guitar
clean and organize
publish
back to the studio and
music production
stay busy
busier
busiest …
but even then
every time I turn around
each place I go
each thing I do
each activity I undertake
YOU were a part of -
made it special
made it joyous
made it shine …
from opening my
pied peepers to start the day
to laying down my noggin
weary … or not
every little moment held
the magic of your smile
the energy of your gentle spirit
and the promise of a day
supplemented with
your sweet aura
and unconditional -
unqualified -
love
and no matter WHAT I do
no matter how I fill my time
that critical element of my
waking moments
is GONE
forever
and that reality slaps
me in the face a
hundred hundred times a day
and always will.
there are times
when the pain is so intense that
I wish I didn’t have a heart -
that I didn’t feel or care or need
or have the
capacity for affection -
but then I realize that I’ve just
erased everything in my
life that is worth being
alive FOR …
I miss you more
than words can express
and the hole you left in my being
can never, ever be filled
but even after your passing
you continue to teach me
this one undeniable and
unshakable actuality:
that LOVE is
by far
the greatest force in the Universe
and more timeless
more formidable
more tenacious and true
than even …
death.
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