or no laughing matter: senryu's

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Hilo Poet.

Poetic Form: Senryu
Inspired: 2024 March 04
Image: N/A

a hill stream flowing a bottom lake fulfilling a near sea rising a hill stream in want a bottom lake where they flaunt the sea that boys taunt a boy wades in stream kids by a lake play tag team the sea is a dream a stream in a rush a lake dangerously rises rough seas off the shore a stream rips its banks a bottom lake overflows a nearby sea floods trees fall in the stream lake closed signs flap everywhere angry storm moves in

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Ink Empress

Date: 4/14/2024 3:39:00 AM

This is inspiring dear hilo, will be a good prompt to do for brain exercise, im planning on trying, and i love this example the most from all yours, the way it flows and how youve painted imagery too is so very creative! I especially love the opening senryu! So clever! Sea is a dream for islanders like us, it is my place to go when i want to dream away too. I absolutely loved this! Pleasure reading this

Hilo Poet
Date: 4/14/2024 8:44:00 AM

A blessed commentary on this Sunday dawning that's yet to be as a pre-dawn dark holds onto dear life--ours, oh well, patience is a virtue--named pre-dawn, Aloha, William

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 3/4/2024 4:21:00 PM

outstanding collection of Senyrus. They take the reader from a calm scenario where boys 'taunt' a hill stream to a scenes where the rush of rain and wind blow in...liked the imagery in the last verse. enjoy your evening, Sara

Hilo Poet
Date: 3/4/2024 4:28:00 PM

This set of senryu's is clearly defining of my contest, and it's the best of the three I'd posted. Thanks, Sara. Aloha, William

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 3/4/2024 12:08:00 PM

Hello Hilo Poet, I like the like the last line when the falls into the stream , the lake is closed and the angry wind moves on. My friend. Enjoy your day. /Darlene/

Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 3/5/2024 10:38:00 AM

Hello Hilo Poet, your welcome Hilo Poet. I am glad yuou are enjoying your day my friend. Aloha! /Darlene/

Hilo Poet
Date: 3/4/2024 1:36:00 PM

I am so very glad, Darlene, that my day is being enjoyed because of comments like yours today, and for that, I am truly grateful, my friend. Aloha, William