David Kidd Poet Rhyme

On-line Bride

So single guys, how do you find a bride? 
Let me tell you the ways Tim tried 
He searched far and wide, high and low 
not leaving it to fate or going with the flow

Blind dates, dating agents and partners instant 
neighbors, family friends and cousins distant 
and cousins not so distant when desperation set in -
he even had plans to abduct an alien

He received much advice from relatives and friends -
"you've got to keep up with modern trends
Spend big on shoes, have a Net presence too
stay cool and relaxed, and just be you

Bad personal hygiene is the biggest turnoff 
always cover your mouth when you're about to cough 
Don't scoff at feminism, be politically correct and
don't take the first girl whose path you intersect

Join clubs and a religious congregation 
when on a bus, strike up a conversation 
Be a master of persuasion - don't accept 'no'! 
girls only want to see to what lengths you'll go

See a psychologist and have dancing lessons
wink at the girls in the delicatessens
Learn impressions, get an exercise mat
and if all else fails, buy yourself a cat"

Enough, enough he did all of the above 
yet did not find his one true love 
He almost gave up, but wouldn't be denied 
he still had one thing – money, on his side

So he found a foreign bride for his lair 
an exotic girl with long black hair 
his love for her will never be extinguished -
It'll grow stronger once she learns English.

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