One Up You Beth

You think they are snooty to you, she said. Here is a story for you. She is my friend, but I call her One-Up-You-Beth in my head. Because no matter what story you have She will one-up it. I had worked at a place for fourteen years, she told me. Fourteen years! She always says things twice. Not sure why. I saw they have a regular time to meet for coffee. So I went. I wonder where she saw it, but don’t interrupt. For it I do, it will be a longer story. I found it on Facebook, she adds. Apparently reading my mind. Fourteen F……ing years I worked with these people!” she says. Adding this word early makes me a bit more curious. I get there and I put my stuff down and the lady next to me says “You can’t sit there. That place is taken.” I say “NO she didn’t!” “Don’t interrupt,” one-up Beth says. So I move to a different place, all right? I am wisely silent. So at this second place I put my stuff and a lady says “That seat is taken.” I begin to giggle. “I am SERIOUS!” she says. “Deadly serious!” So I move to third place and guess what?” “No way!” I say. But, yes, according to one-up Beth a third woman says "That seat is taken!" “So you left,” I guess. “Of course I did!” she says. “I would have too.” I do not mention her tendency to monopolize conversations and one-up people.