Home » Poems » Michael Jordan » Once Was a King

Once Was a King

There once was Castle just over the hill That belonged to a King with an iron will Nestled safely behind his Castle wall With an army to insure they wouldn’t fall It was clear for the entire world to see Destiny would record him in history The richest King in all of the land A beautiful Queen at his right hand He ruled the land from shore to shore Tell me, “Could any man ask for more”? Turns out this King had just one vice He was so great he forgot to be nice Against any force he was bound to win So the devil attacked him from with-in Such a great King skilled with the sword Much too great a King to turn to the Lord Watched his entire Kingdom crumble away Because he was to great to kneel and pray

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Deron Roberts

Date: 10/14/2008 9:35:00 PM

I enjoyed this very much. First of yours I read but wont be the last

Steven Mossburg

Date: 10/10/2008 8:59:00 AM

You point (I think) very cleverly at us all. We so often forget that ALL we HAVE and ALL we ARE has come from HIM.

Ed Coet

Date: 10/8/2008 10:34:00 PM

Very nice Couplet Mchael. By the way my new book has just been released. Here are the links: Early order “Poet Coet” through Target on-line: http://www.target.com/Poet-Coet-Ed/dp/0615242111 Preview “Poet Coet”at: http://www.lulu.com/content/3382293 I'd appreciate your spreading the word. Thanks. ED

Autumn Rose Wood

Date: 10/8/2008 9:42:00 AM

AHHH! Much better. The message of this is so great! Thank you for writing!

Arwa Hussin

Date: 10/7/2008 11:00:00 AM

I admire how it rhymes and how it's different :)

Heidie Buys

Date: 10/3/2008 3:34:00 PM

Breathtaking in the truth and the way you have written this. Spellbinding and a very good read. Very well done. Love Heidie

Deneen White

Date: 10/3/2008 2:58:00 PM

hi Michael, a king so great he forgot to be nice, a king too great to pray, Jesus Christ was also a King, The King Of Kings, the Greatest King to ever walk the face of the earth, and he was never to haughty, and proud to kneel down and pray to his heavenly father, he is the greates king of all, Michael know that your heavenly father looks down on you and says to the angels that is Michael and I am proud of him, this gives me the inspiration to be and do better, thanks for your comments D-nyce

Autumn Rose Wood

Date: 10/2/2008 9:52:00 AM

I love a poet will to learn! This poem is strong, but you need to be aware of exact rhyme. walls rhymes with falls, not fall and the like. Also there are three kinds of 2 - two, too, and to. In your line Because he was to great to kneel and pray, I believe you want too great. I may be mistaken though. Thank God no one is perfect. I am proud to know all that you've overcome so that you can share your light! May God continue to bless you! I apologize if you find me too nick-pickity(sic)

Vince Suzadail Jr.

Date: 10/2/2008 7:14:00 AM

There should be only one True King. With a little faith we'll all be part of His Kingdom someday. I liked this. Vince

James Foulk

Date: 10/1/2008 8:18:00 PM

Michael this was a well written piece of fine poetry. hopes everything goes ok, i had four front teeth pulled once, i have a parcel there now. sounds like you in for a big one, but you will be better once the pain wears off.

Trudy Diane Rider

Date: 10/1/2008 3:20:00 PM

May you caslte forever stand proud on humble ground Michael~Tru~

Phyllis Babcock

Date: 10/1/2008 1:06:00 PM

Many will deny God's kingdom. He gave us everything we have and can take it away just as easily. God Bless Phyl

Michael Torres

Date: 10/1/2008 12:34:00 PM

"Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord and HE will lift you up." Nice flow, very well said. God's richest blessings to you, Toni, and Michaela........Give them my love.......Janice

Carrie Richards

Date: 10/1/2008 8:24:00 AM

Best wishes, and good luck today with the oral surgery, Michael!!:) Will be thinking about that bright smile that you'll have when it's all behind you! It will shine all of Willows....they can save on P.G. & E. downtown!! Take care ~Carrie

Michaela Payne

Date: 10/1/2008 7:27:00 AM

Great story with a great lesson, I just loved this Michael. Blessings, ~Michaela~

Carrie Richards

Date: 10/1/2008 7:06:00 AM

What a lesson here, Michael! This powerful poem should be read by so many in our modern world. It doesn't just apply to kings and kingdoms...You painted the picture very clearly! ~ Have a good day...Neighbor! ~Carrie

Autumn Rose Wood

Date: 10/1/2008 7:01:00 AM

This poem packs a hidden powerful punch. Some gramatical(sic) mistakes detract from your brilliance, but it is still a work of art.

Sharon Winter

Date: 10/1/2008 5:16:00 AM

Powerful message dear Michael, so well expressed. With love, Shar

Kristin Reynolds

Date: 10/1/2008 3:52:00 AM

Amen! That is how it works, one reeps what one sows - simple as that. you get back what you give, treat those how you wish to be treated...well said, Michael, love Kristin

Christy Hardy

Date: 10/1/2008 2:45:00 AM

Oh Michael, this poem says it all. He started out with so much to end up with so little, all because he didn't give thanks to the one that gave it to him to begin with.....Everything we have on this earth belongs to God, He is our Creator..so many people forget this...He can remove everything in the blink of an eye, Look at Wall Street......Always, Christy

Adell Foster

Date: 10/1/2008 1:26:00 AM

It goes to show that pride cometh before the fall. That king should have realized that without God he could do nothing and that with God he could accomplish all things... Sometimes people tend to get to high for their britches forgetting that there is none greater than our Creator...That's a hugh mistake for that is when they tend to stumble and fall. There is wisdom in the lines of this write. I thank you Michael for sharing such an awesome read. God's Love and Many Blessings, Always, Adell

Leokadia Durmaj

Date: 10/1/2008 12:57:00 AM

Some people believe they are greater then thou, yet soon they find out in death they have no power. All the treasures in the world count for nothing before God. Very well written Michael, there is wisdom in your words. Lee

Brian Strand

Date: 10/1/2008 12:44:00 AM

Like this narrative style Michael.More power to your elbow.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments

Michael Torres

Date: 9/30/2008 10:05:00 PM

So well said Michael: When we dont include the Lord in our lives , in our decision process when we shut him out , we are openining up ourselves to failure. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. The other fact you mention is the devils attack and thats always relentless. How canprosper.....You cant. We certainly need our Lord in our lives. Thankyou for uplifting me with this wonderful peice Michael. God bless Michael and Janice

George Anos

Date: 9/30/2008 8:48:00 PM

The folly of pride and the holding on to the intangibles and the material. You've explored these things very studiously and deep in this humble but powerful poem Michael! Brgds.