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ON THE ROCKS

Whiskey on the rocks, advised by my doc combats dementia, so bring on the blocks no need for a glass; I'll have me the bottle with a big bowl of ice this baby I'll throttle The whiskey's gone, now a brandy'd be fine my inside's on fire, there's a hoop up my spine swigging from the bot comes at a price I'll temper the fire with whole blocks of ice The flames have been doused; rum, if you please? my head's in a clamp; ice will loosen the squeeze now, be a sport and pile on the ice two bowls or more I think should suffice Three bottlesh down, all on the rocksh my tootshiesh are shtarting to curl in my shocksh my shmile is chemented, my lipsh glued together my fashe the feel and texture of leather Twishe left, thrishe right my head ish shwinging short, long, short, long my earsh are zinging either I'm crosh-eyed or my brainsh have been fried elsh why are my legsh by three multiplied? I'm freefalling on shixh feet firmly earthed alternating twixht lower and then upper berth vocal chordsh tangled, shizhably crimped I'm walking with a lishp and talking with a limp I'm teetering-tottering or tettering-tortering I've no clue which ish which and given up wondering the world ish a blur; I musht be plarshtered the liquor went down well; ishe warsh the barshtard On all foursh – nay, twelve, I reach the bed now I'm pondering and shcratching my head: am I waking up or about to retire? I shimply topple over, my whole being on fire In the Land of Nod I'm harnessed by tether in comely dreams of cowboys and leather when plagued by a swishy feel in my bladder swelling as fast as a pregnant puffadder Abruptly awakened when a stream emanated unable to move, still intoxicated stuck to my bed and severely drenched nausea ensued in the encompassing stench How my stomach reacted I'd best not relate suffice to say it was a full freight soiled and hung-over, a word of advice: liquor's fantastic but steer clear of ice

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 1/11/2014 9:35:00 AM
As you may know, in my opinion, this is the funniest poem I have read of yours and that's sayin something! LOVE how you start slurring your words as you get more and more drunk (Shame on you!) Congrats to my freaky,festive,funny friend....Slim-Jim-Tim
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Date: 1/11/2014 12:14:00 AM
Enjoyed the write and congratulations on the win, delysia
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Date: 1/10/2014 11:26:00 PM
Delysia, congratulations... If you'd like take a trip to my blog ----> ON THE ROCKS------ http://www.poetrysoup.com/poetry_blogs/blog_detail.aspx?BlogID=18527&PoetID=18720 <---- enjoy if you'd like... Love Always & Forever <3 LINDA <3
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Date: 12/13/2013 4:31:00 AM
hi delysia I can see why you like it, congratulations on your win love xx
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Date: 12/12/2013 8:08:00 PM
Congrats on the win, delysia
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Date: 12/12/2013 12:17:00 PM
All the poetry submitted was heartfelt. From love throughout life to love in the depths of death with reflections of nature. You are all deserving First Place Winners and I thank you for entering your favorites in my contest.
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Date: 12/5/2013 1:08:00 PM
Oh my...couldn't stop laughing and reading and peeking through this one....cowboys and leather! Can I join in this dream? Congratulations..
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Date: 12/1/2013 9:10:00 PM
Fun poem. Congrats, Delysia!
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Date: 11/30/2013 2:39:00 AM
Well done Delysia! Powerful writing you have going here.
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Date: 11/26/2013 11:57:00 PM
Hello Delysia, Thank you for spreading and sharing your kindness. You know me I’ will always enjoy stopping by with love and support, no matter if I do not Understand what I am reading at times. I am very grateful and thankful to all who have been supportive of me one way or another. Your heartfelt words are the main attraction of who you are… Thanks for your inspiring visit. ----- Happy Thanksgiving ~ LINDA
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Date: 10/27/2013 3:51:00 PM
Heehee! Thanks for directing me to this comical masterpiece. I enjoyed your wit and rhyming throughout. I love how you structured and distorted the words as the poem continued. Very creative! Always, Laura
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Date: 8/11/2013 12:26:00 AM
My hearty congratulations on your win my dear friend Delysia. Thank you so much as well for sharing your excellent write. Have a grace-filled wkend! Love lots and big hugs, Leonora
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Date: 8/9/2013 7:27:00 PM
congratulations... many awesome lines.........SKAT
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Date: 8/8/2013 9:16:00 PM
Hello Delysia, CONGRATULATIONS!!! With your awesome good poem' in Nathan's contest... xox Linda
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Date: 8/8/2013 8:15:00 PM
awesome & congrats
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Date: 8/1/2013 5:10:00 PM
You don't have to be pished to give this write a great comment, yes I think that compliments it perfectly Licia, well slipped, Ooops meant pushed lol. Take care, Richard
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Date: 7/26/2013 12:30:00 PM
Great little poem here, My Deary/ I can't remember laughin' so hard... (HIC}.....Jake
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Date: 7/25/2013 6:03:00 PM
Too funny and creatively crafted. Nice job. I enjoyed reading this one and somehow, had no trouble with the intoxicated jargon - now that is a bit scary. So here's one to you and your words of advice - please, my dear, hold the ice.
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Date: 7/25/2013 5:51:00 PM
Hahaha, this one brought me a good laugh! Clever and full of wit, I love it! So nice to stop by and read your work today. Hugs! :)
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Date: 7/24/2013 5:05:00 PM
Chuckled fall za way zhtru zis, Is zo phunnie. Pats you on the back, laughing
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Date: 7/24/2013 3:05:00 PM
hahaha, steer clear of ice!! was this in that one contest called the drunken pen? It Should have been. It was damn Good!!!!
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Date: 7/21/2013 3:54:00 AM
Hello! Delysia, - Wow! This is quit a drinkin' trip - I feel I just drank with you, this imagery is one of the best i've ever seen! What a hoot, now where did I leave my drink? Great - One Perry C.
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Date: 7/20/2013 5:39:00 PM
Hi Licia, I am hoping you might consider entering my contest. I would be so pleased if you did.
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Date: 6/17/2013 5:42:00 AM
kuckin' brilliant, whoop-whoop! what else need i say? so i won't! xxx eph
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Date: 6/8/2013 2:27:00 PM
I jush put thish on my fav poem lisht - Tim
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