Rachel Holland | + Follow Poet |
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On the Edge

I drank all of the brandy
I smoked every night till three
All because the man
Won’t come back to me

I talked online to an ex-boyfriend
I slept on the couch for a week
I cried and cried on the underground
Won’t you please come back to me?

I hung around, my pyjamas on
I didn’t clean my face or teeth
I thought for a while
With a sad frown and a smile
Is he not coming back for me?

I flirted with boys
Who left me empty inside
I cried whenever alone
I looked at myself 
I felt quite ill
And thought he’s not ever coming back here for me

Grief stricken was I
Friends took me aside 
And showed me how to drink
It numbs the pain of love you see
When he’s not coming back for you

I changed my hair
Ran around the block
Tried to pretend that I didn’t care
I asked myself why
Over and over again
Is he not coming back for me?

Hospital strikes
Drip in my arm
I smile the morphine takes me on
It seems to say with a wink and a smile
That he’s not gonna be back here for you

Another week goes by
My appendix has died
I receive a costly call from New York
As I lay in my bloody hospital pants
He says with a croaky voice
That he’s probably, maybe not coming back to me

Now I’m out
I’m scarred
My hair is short
Apparently to all it was plain to see
That my baby, my darling, the love of my life
Was always going to run from me

Life is short she thinks
And love is cruel sometimes
My body has died a thousand times
And all I hoped
And all I wanted
Was for him to come back to me

And long did it echo
The emptiness lingered
The touch of love that he had brought
And as she imagined his face
And the world he must chase
She then didn’t expect
To ever see him again

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