Oh, You Don'T Know the Shape I'M In!

Yes, indeed, I'm not quite up to speed, These days, anyway... Let me tell you, if I may... The 20 odd meds I must take, Each and every day... Hope you got the space in your hard drive, To see what it takes, to keep me alive... First, the conditions...Ventricular Fibrillation (Life threatening heart condition, which brought me tons of seizures...and emergency heart surgery within an hour...they implanted in my heart a computerized "Defibrillator" miniture version of those big electric pads you see on TV medical scenes, where they go: "Charge! Now!!" and the electric shock makes the body jump. I was told it was that, or be dead in a month. And when the battery dies, it starts beeping inside my chest...no doubt I'll be in a movie theatre at the movie's climax, and be tossed by the usher (do they still have those?)....Second is COPD, today's term for emphyzema...a degenerative lung disease...where suddenly you cannot breath, you literally drown in a sea of air....This is a peachy one, has me in the hospital 10 times a year, plus far more suseptible to goodies like pneumonia... which I have gotten several times, and from which I just recently recovered. The prognosis is poor, it is incurable, progressive (contantly getting worse), terminal...I will eventually suffocate...and I'm always with a variety of inhalers and nebulizers...a plug in version I got from a ex-co-worker's wife, with the same disease, but much better specialists than me, although she died from it 2 years ago, oddly, on my birthday (2-28) hmmmmm.....I already have a plot for me and my Rosie...lovely place....I've survived bladder cancer twice...another benefit from my long ago days of smoking -quit in 1994- when this first showed up- I'd go to urinate, and pure blood would flow...naturally it soon clogged, and I swelled up with blood....came real, real close to dead several times...and I'm not a recreational drug user...so the pain was aweful, and the later Dr. check-ups a fearful affair...a fiber optic camera inserted up the *****....any male's worse nightmare...with good reason, the pain is unreal...It's my third favorite past time to being beheaded, being castrated (near the same thing), and being burned at the stake. Continued...