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I could not bear to see that nothing had changed, that the world still rolled along its trivial round and day rose up and yielded to the stars and all the trees just stood there. If the earth had swallowed me or demon visions claimed my mind’s clear understanding for their own, I might have veiled the truth behind the horror and kept the blindness other men call sight. But I have looked too nakedly upon the sun and know the light for what it is. Yet neither may I pierce again that pit from which so long ago I fell unwilling, and into which I later fell unknowing, by entering the void through my own choosing. Action itself is foul: I must accept. Thus I indeed am fortune’s child and toy, my helplessness once more my sole protection. Now neither life nor death is what I need, but only to be of use. I may yet know where I belong and learn what I am for. ----------------------------------------
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