Numb

I sit in the sun, but I feel no warmth. I sit by the moon, and I feel no cold. Only depression fills my soul. Only sorrow clouds my mind. Yet I feel hope, strange enough. I am hopeful most days, But the depression stays. It’s better sadness, than rage. I am torn into two, But I cannot wait any longer. I’ve got to fix myself, I’ve got to get stronger. Constant scribbling on paper, Expelling the demons within. Constant reminders of tragedy, Instilling a fear of loss. But if I was the one, The one who was lost, How would that play out? I hear the sadness in your voice, I hear the sorrow in your cries. That still tells me you care, If the love for us dies. I’m waiting and biding my time, But I’m working as hard as ever. I’ve got to fix the flaws I bring, I’ve got to fix my mind. Hope... Hope is the word, That gets me through this. Hope is the word, That will make me become whole. You’ve told me you won’t lose hope, That you haven’t lost the will. But my mind plays tricks, Just know I love you still.