Now, I Am Free

A life of beauty and happiness denied, of innocence 
smothered like a flame--I have always lived; but when 
I am touched by your kindness, O Rose,

Now, I am free!

I was dead before I even entered into this world, a
place cruel and without feeling, cruel and without 
the love and compassion I finally know in the rich 
lovingkindnesses of your heart, O Rose!

They set me free.

Before I could even hope to bloom like a young flower
hanging breathless and exposed in the first, rainy
sunbeams of life a great evil--the menacing hostility
of a dark, soulless figure spilling over with 
hatred--transformed me into a joyless 

waste of ashes.

From that terrible moment on I fought all the ugly and horrible assaults
as his unwilling property, a child-gladiator in the arenas
of his constant abuse and 
intimidation.

But when I know your forgiveness and now recognize your tender-
ness and compassion as unearned gifts meant for 
me   

despite my childish self-loathing 
and my unworthiness

I feel the love and self-esteem denied me, taken from
me simply because it was too easy to rape from 
a child whose only fault was that he was not born 

white 
or with money or status.

O Rose! Because you finally arrived in my life and rescued me--now I am free!
Free from my years as an abused prisoner in the arena of his constant
abuse and attacks,

able to bloom like a young flower hanging breathless
and exposed in the first, radiant sunbeams 

of life again!
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Tsiluma Avatar
July 21, 2012 at 2:34 AM
Very well written free verse Ngoc! Love your portrayal of coming out on top against all odds. Nice!
Palmer Avatar
July 20, 2012 at 7:39 PM
great write Ngoc
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace