''Now I Am Free''

A life of beauty and happiness denied, of innocence smothered like a flame--I have always lived; but when I am touched by your kindness, O Rosa, Now I am free! I was dead before I even entered into this world, a place cruel and without feeling, cruel and without the love and compassion I finally know in the rich lovingkindnesses of your heart, O Rosa! They set me free. Before I could even hope to bloom like a young flower hanging breathless and exposed in the first, rainy sunbeams of life a great evil--the menacing hostility of a dark, soulless figure spilling over with hatred--transformed me into a joyless waste of ashes. From that terrible moment on I fought all the ugly and horrible assaults as his unwilling property, a child-gladiator in the arenas of his constant abuse and intimidation. But when I know your forgiveness and now recognize your tender- ness and compassion as unearned gifts meant for me despite my childish self-loathing and my unworthiness I feel the love and self-esteem denied me, taken from me simply because it was too easy to rape from a child whose only fault was that he was born white and defenseless. O Rosa! Because you finally arrived in my life and rescued me--now I am free! Free from my years as an abused prisoner in the arena of his constant abuse and attacks, able to bloom like a young flower hanging breathless and exposed in the first, rainy sunbeams of life again!