Nothing Gained

I LOOK AROUND AND SEE NO ONE IS THERE NOT A WHISPER NOT A SOUND IT IS DARK, COLD AND LONELY. ALL I CAN HEAR IS SILENCE NOTHING BUT THE NIGHT AIR IN THE PRESENCE OF MY FACE. THE STARS ARE SHINING BRIGHT AND THE MOON IS BEAMING. IS THIS FOR REAL OR AM I DREAMING HOW CAN THIS BE I HAD IT ALL. FRIENDS WHO ADORED ME AND PEOPLE WHO RESPECTED ME FOR WHO I AM. A MAN THAT KISSED THE GROUND THAT I WALKED ON BUT HOW DO I REPAY THEM. BY PUSHING THEM FURTHER AND FURTHER AWAY WITH HATEFUL WORDS AND TEARS OF PAIN AND SORROW. HOPING THAT I CAN SEE THEIR FACES TOMORROW BUT IT NEVER COMES AND I AM SOAKING IN THE SADNESS I CREATED. I HAVE BEEN MY OWN ENEMY I HAVE CREATED A HEARTACHE THAT I CANNOT BEAR. AT NIGHT I JUST LOOK AT THE WALL AND JUST STARE WONDERING IF I WILL EVER GET THAT CHANCE AGAIN.