Not What I Expected

There are times that it really hits me
that my life has not been what I expected
in some ways, it is the opposite of what I dreamed of
and in others, it is exactly what I dreamed of
I never imagined my precious and precocious younger son would take his own life
or that my grief would be so big and unmanageable that I can't breathe at times
but I did meet and marry my best friend and build a life with him
and we are still married after 32 years
I never thought that my oldest son would be who he is and do what he does
or that I would be so very proud of that person, despite him putting aside the beliefs of his parents
I never thought I would write poems that I would put out there for others to read
and get them published as often as I can
I never thought I would work in a psychiatric hospital
and love it for the most part
I never imagined I would befriend and encourage people
with the same illness my son had and it would encourage me
and keep me going when I want to curl up in a ball and just cry
I never thought life would be so messy and painful
yet, beautiful and joyful at the same time
Copyright © | Year Posted 2026

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Be the first to comment on this poem. Encourage this poet.

Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace